By Jennifer Latkiewicz
If it’s coming from sex bibles Cosmopolitan and The Joy of Sex it must be good, right? But 60 international editions and 8 million copies later, respectively, are we any closer to demystifying than we were forty years ago? Or do bad sex tips simply beget
Our panel of guys discuss these and other equally creative albeit slightly ridiculous advice
Would these new bedroom tricks blow his mind… or have him scratching his head?
Guys discuss the real-life application of these kinky, out-there and extremely dangerous sex tips. Do not try these at home?
Everyone knows Cosmo is all about the sexy time. Every issue is packed with sexy sexual … So, it’s surprising that a lot of the expert sex tips and tricks they feature are impractical, nonsensical and sometimes, painfully awkward.
But even Cosmo can occasionally teeter between adventurous and confusing.
Do the editors really think their readers will try these techniques?
An odd combination of ,, and props, Cosmo sex tips are uniquely Cosmo. “I would probably think it was kind of weird and ask ‘You’ve been reading Cosmo again haven’t you?’”
most of us probably spent our formative years with a very different understanding of sex than the one we have years later.
Until they institute an objective rating system or make it an Olympic sport, sex will .
As pervasive as sex is, our society still lacks a structured way to teach us exactly how to do, um, it. Sure, we had Sex Ed but it did little to demystify this whole S-E-X thing. We may have learned about the tools in our toolbox but unfortunately, no one ever showed us how to actually use them.
And if you’ve ever been a 12-year-old girl, you know how mind-blowingly inaccurate the information about sex can be.
Depending on the resources available, perspectives will likely vary.
the glazed donut, the dddd — are they just still wingin’ it?
And with everything from sleepover gossip and romance novels, to lad mags and “Shaving Private Ryan” bootlegs at the foundation of our sexual know-how, tips and advice will likely vary.
Coming from an 8th grader, the idea that oral sex is defined by timbral quality is one thing. But to see renowned “sex bibles” (written by adults who presumably have had sex for real) print it in their pages definitely had me questioning the credibility behind it and other ‘mind-blowing’ gospel. Donut-y fellatio, sex on a moving motorcycle and more — our panel of guys weigh in on sexdom’s most out-there ‘expert’ tips.
Before you, check out what our panel of guys has to say about a few of the ‘kinkiest’ and most out-there sex tips.
Donut Penis Ring
According to Cosmo: “Slip a glazed doughnut around his manhood and nibble it off.”
Food and sex — it worked in 9 1/2 Weeks, didn’t it? Jono insists, “No, not together!” “I would rather eat the (clean!) donut myself after we’re done,” says Andy, 31.
But if it’s not the mess that deters him, the general idea of high-calorie fellatio may. “I would be amused by her efforts but not find it to be hot at all. It would sort of kill the mood,” Daniel admits. Agrees Nick, 31: “I would probably think it was kind of weird and ask ‘You’ve been reading Cosmo again haven’t you?’”
“‘A’ for effort though,” says Daniel.
Giving safety and sensibility the big heave-ho, the original sex bible, The Joy of Sex, suggested couples get frisky on horseback and a moving motorcycle.
If you have access to a private road, the hazards are yours,”
Not only is weird, but illegal, too.
Spice It Up
“Sprinkle a little pepper under his nose right before he climaxes. Sneezing can feel similar to an orgasm and amplify the feel-good effects.”
Apparently it’s sneezegasm-inducing black pepper — not ‘variety’ — that’s the spice of life. ”‘Annoy him to such an extent that he fails to achieve a satisfying climax,’ is what this sounds like,” Jono says.
Another suggestion was to move the penis around like “an old-school Atari joystick, up, down, side to side.”
While I find the handjob/Space Invaders connection to be somewhat horrifying, the guys say there may be something to this joystick joyride. “I like this move,” John says. “Circles are fun, too.”
If you’re not into video games, Max has another suggestion: “A little Shake Weight action would be good, too.”
Nick has a simpler perspective. “Anytime a woman is holding my penis I’m generally a happy man.”
“Start by stacking six scrunchies on top of each other over his package. Then remove them one by one using your lips and tongue.”
While the other guys immediately deemed this technique as simply “weird”, Jono sees potential. “I could see where this would be interesting foreplay.” No way, says Andy. “If you’re thinking of using this one, it’s time to wave the white flag and join the nunnery.”
While the sex tips may not always be universally on point, Cosmo does offer men important insight. ”I found that I learned much about how women view relationships,” says Nick, who was at one time actually subscribed to the magazine. “The magazine is hilarious,” says Andy. “Embarrassing tampon debacles never get old.”
Save the donuts for breakfast. Check out the latest tips and tricks from LovingYou’s resident sexperts!
Jennifer Latkiewicz is a Love/Sex blogger for LovingYou.com and long-time Cosmo subscriber. She finds the mental image of a scrunchie-covered penis to be both hilarious and frightening. Follow her on Twitter at @jenniferlat.
your hands firmly protecting on your ‘manhood’ from an onslaught of hair bands and donuts?