By Aly Walansky
Here’s sobering news for people looking for romance on Valentine’s Day.
According to the American Institute of Stress, over 75% of people suffer from stress-related symptoms and illnesses along with experiencing a direct negative effect on their interpersonal relationships.
“Being that fatigue, insomnia and headaches are all symptoms of stress, how can romance even think about gaining a foothold in your life?” says stress relief expert Lauren E. Miller (http://www.laurenemiller.com).
“Stress does not evoke romance; however, romance can evoke stress,” she says. “Because of the high expectations you have on what romance needs to look like in your life, you stress over the possibility that it won’t show up the way you imagine it will. When you don’t get what you want, then the anxiety soars around the belief, ‘I’m not OK if I don’t get this out of my relationship.’
Herein lies the culprit.
As you can imagine, nothing thrives, especially romance, in a place filled with high demands and stress. You may say, ‘I love you, because you love me and if you don’t love me the way I imagine you should then I don’t love you.’ To love another for who they are without the demands of who you desire them to be creates an environment where romance can flourish.”
Lauren recommends three practices that can help you eliminate the stress around romance:
- Stop the craze of trying to own, control and possess your partner or any human being. Just as you appreciate the space to be “You” just as you are, give that same gift to the ones you love.
- Release your expectations of what romance needs to look like. You have been brainwashed since you were little as to what “true” romance should be. As soon as you drop your preconceived notions around the entire experience, you then open yourself up to new opportunities and possible romantic experiences.
- You want more romance? Then be romantic. One of the definitions for romance is adventure. Be a curious human being and explore what moves you. What moves you will move those around you. Get out of your head and connect with your heart. What moves you in life? What causes you to stop for a moment and linger? Begin to look at life as one big opportunity to love better every day. Make your life a novel of love. Remember, love, romance and life flow from the inside out. When you take time to nurture the romance within, it will start to show up all around you.