by: Katarina Kovacevic
So you’ve gone out with the guy from your gym a couple of times now – movies, dinner, dancing – you’ve done it all. And, for the most part, the two of you get along just fine. The conversations flow like the wine at dinner and you’ve got plenty in common. But there’s still a small part of you that’s a little unsure whether this fun fling can turn into a serious relationship. We’ve compiled a list of characteristics to avoid if you’re looking for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now. There’s no PhD attached to my name, no “relationship expert” advice included – just real-life advice from a real-life woman. Take what you will!
Relationship with Mom
One of the best ways to gain insight into what a guy will be like in a relationship is to learn about his connection with the other woman – his mother. If he’s got nothing but censor-worthy things to say about the person who gave him life, you’ll want to stay away. Chances are he’s got trust issues with women that he’ll need to clear up on his own before he hopes to have a successful, monogamous relationship. (Don’t even try the “I can change him” thing – its not going to work, trust me.) A man who can’t buy a couch without Mommy’s input isn’t great, either. Men who have healthy, balanced connections with their mothers based on mutual respect tend to do better in mature, adult relationships.
If your current crush has switched jobs five times in the past nine months that may be another sign that a serious relationship isn’t on the horizon. Pulling in a six-figure salary shouldn’t be a requirement but a man who can hold down a job, whether it’s a retail representative at a hardware shop or partner in a law firm, shows that he is capable of commitment and willing to put in time and effort when needed. Nothing worthwhile is easy and relationships are the prime example that this particular cliché happens to be true. It takes equally committed partners to keep a relationship going and you’ll want someone who is willing to work through the tough times.
Confidence is Key
No one wants to deal with a man who thinks he’s hotter than Giselle Bundchen but a guy with a healthy dose of self-esteem is definitely a good thing. Any person whether man or woman who has a high level of confidence is more able to deal with the twists and turns of love. Insecurity tends to breed detrimental behaviors like jealousy and codependency that can be a major barrier in successful relationships. This of course doesn’t mean you should write off the shy ones. Outgoing personalities don’t necessarily equate to high self-esteem and sometimes it’s the quiet ones who surprise you the most.
Go with Your Gut
Of course all of these tips cater more toward the rational side of things but emotional connection is arguably one of the most important elements in a relationship. If the connection just isn’t there then there’s no use in forcing it. Nurturing a quality relationship should be equal parts logic and sentiment. Sometimes a girl just has to trust her gut.