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Pillow Talk

5 Tips for Phone Sex Newbies

by Melissa Chapman

Miles might separate you, but your intimacy need not suffer. Here’s how to use phone sex to keep your long distance relationship spicy and hot – even if you’ve never done it before!


Maintain your intimacy

Rather than let your relationship go sour during weeks or months of separation, make it your mission to keep it sizzling. Mix a little phone sex play into the mix to invigorate your lackluster telephone conversations. When you’re apart, phone sex is the next best thing until you can dive into the real thing.

According to Tina B. Tessina, PhD, (aka “Dr. Romance”), psychotherapist and author of The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You’re Far Apart (Adams Media), phone sex is certainly a useful tool for couples in a long distance relationship as it keeps you both vividly recalling just how much you love and are aroused by each other.

“When you’re in a long distance relationship you need to keep it hot and not simply relax into just companionship only. Phone sex also makes the transition to the next time you are face to face easier,” says Dr. Tessina. “If you’ve learned to generate sexual feelings by voice only, you’ll get turned on easily when you’re in contact. It also keeps you from feeling so frustrated that you’re ultimately tempted to stray.”

Dr. Tessina offers these phone sex pointers for newbies:

1. Begin by telling your partner how much you enjoy sex with him or her.

“I can’t stop thinking about the last time we made love.” Then ask for a response: “Do you remember that? We were in the bedroom….”Follow that with some positive descriptions “Your skin was so wonderful to touch, and I got so turned on.”

Again, ask for a response, if one doesn’t come up right away ask, “What did you like most?” Then move to … “I’m getting turned on now, just talking about it, are you?”

2. Then go for a more detailed description.

“I can remember what it felt like to unbutton your (or my) shirt, knowing we were going to get closer together.”

“If you use the method I’ve suggested, working from a memory, the phone sex will be like your in-person sex — dirty-talking or not, just like the sex you have at home, ” says Dr. Tessina. “In fact, you should take care to make it as similar as possible, especially the first couple times. Once you’re both used to it, then experimentation can be fun — but not too soon, or you might upset your partner.

Five phone sex techniques couples can integrate into their long distance relationship

#1 Work from a memory of your sex when you are together, so it doesn’t feel strange.

#2 Don’t worry if it doesn’t go right the first time, just try again later. You’re just learning something new, and it may take a couple of tries.

#3 Be careful you’re not just doing it by yourself. That’s masturbating. Keep the conversation going back and forth by saying something, then asking how your partner feels about it. That keeps both of you involved and at similar places.

#4 Use your five senses. Talk to your partner about what you are seeing in your imagination, what you’re hearing, how you feel emotionally and physically, and what you remember about how sex with your partner tastes and smells,

#5 Everything you say needs to be positive. Talk about how much you love your partner, enjoy your partner, what feels good, what sounds good, how great you are feeling.

Tags: , ,


Reader Comments:

51 Responses to “5 Tips for Phone Sex Newbies”

  1. Emypresh says:

    I luv this, i’ll try it maybe when i find a girl of my dream.

  2. nelson says:

    interesting.I’ll give it a try to hear her response

  3. Odiegwu, na wahoo wetin Lawyers dey do self?

  4. acmed says:

    it’s a great thing to pratice and see how it works

  5. Deluis says:

    Its works only when u keep your imaginations and creative spirit alive.

  6. Spencer iweka says:

    Luv,dis wil gv it a try.kos my girl is far 4m me n i mis her dearly

  7. Igbe ter says:

    I’ve tried it and it worked

  8. Elisha says:

    It is the best!!!! Oh my gosh- the fun my boyfriend and I have! wow! We often laugh and say our phone sex is better than most people have in person! Try it- if you haven’t yet you don’t know what you are missing!!!

  9. Sunny says:

    Cool, i try it and it did not only work but only help me and my baby girl.

  10. Tor says:

    It is the best!!!! Oh my gosh- the fun my boyfriend and I have! wow! We often laugh and say our phone sex is better than most people have in person! Try it- if you haven’t yet you don’t know what you are missing!!!
    +1

  11. Susu says:

    I loved it , phone sex is gooood !!

  12. henry says:

    wow that is wonderful, can anyone try it on me?
    here is my phone number +23462258403

  13. henry says:

    wow that is wonderful, can anyone try it on me?
    here is my phone number +2348062258403

  14. The law says:

    Oh! It seems great, well i will advice others 2 do it cuz i’ve learnt it works. Nice job by Dr. Tenissa

  15. Lanre says:

    If only u can try it on me…. Here is my number – 2348023956559. Am waitin 4 ur cal

  16. Lanre says:

    I want 2 hav d experience, coüld sumbody pls try it wit me

  17. alexzena says:

    my husband and i enjoyed this even if we’re far each other we still feel we’re connected to each other.and to be honest when we see each other after we did’nt see each other for a month we are so hot…

  18. Peter says:

    Well This is soo Great, If Ghana Ladis wnt try it, Jst leave ur number and i will call u, Ma line is 0546393430

  19. Jabreel says:

    o gosh… from now i ll try it…dez dayz it needs alot….shez angry wid me…now i ll call her…n v ll enjoy alot our life from now….gud

  20. victor says:

    wow dis is a lovely idea.am going to try it right away.

  21. Rowena says:

    OMG My BF wont have phone sex with me please make him realize how much this will help… hehehe.

  22. Winter says:

    Amazing. It really is fun!

  23. Eve says:

    Am into this, sure it works……coz me and my lover we are far away from one another but i’ve never thought of cheating on him. coz by phone, he really makes mi feel his presence and i love it

  24. Dash please take a look at this.

  25. Prince O.J says:

    i`ve done this b4 n it was very positive

  26. Gabriel says:

    This is really working well. i am already in it and it is working fine for our relationship.

  27. floxyb says:

    wow this is great and i hve bin makn use of it b4 i came in contact wit dis

  28. Çzar says:

    Dis is really interesting,but i’ve not done it.someone should use dis number and try it out with me(2348066182099).

  29. beh says:

    i am sexy . send mail for me abehrooz49@yahoo.com

  30. Vivacity says:

    I wud luv 2 hav Psex wit ma Boyfrnd bt i cnt bear d tot of him talkin abt it wit his frnds coz he cnt kip tins 2 himslf

  31. Celestine says:

    This is real good and interesting. I so much believe it works.

  32. jameel manu says:

    I really apreciate dis logic about phone sex, but i’m among d lucky pple, b/cos i did it b 4 reading phone sex.

  33. Useful article…
    but it is even more enjoyable..when…

  34. Eugene says:

    I luv dat.

  35. sam says:

    i will love to have this wit someone …i have not try it but i wish to this is my id (djbosty1234@yahoo.com)and my no-+233249585354 am witing to have a coll

  36. 36316 says:

    U.R.L:
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  37. odu says:

    Am into this, sure it works……coz me and my lover we are far away from one another but i’ve never thought of cheating on him. coz by phone, he really makes mi feel his presence and i love it

  38. lauren says:

    i’m a newbie and kind of intimidated by this especially because my partner is not and he is very verbal about what he likes

  39. JAG says:

    I LOVE THIS IDEA BUT DONT HAVE PARTNER IF ANY ONE INTERESTED CALL ME +60172067810 I M VERY LONELY IN MALAYSIA

  40. Michelle says:

    I used to do this all the time before me and my bf even had sex when we were 16-17. Haha…but it’s so weird now even trying it…I don’t know. I’m paranoid someone will hear me, I start to fumble words now, and ahhh lol. Plus he isn’t good at talking dirty and he knows it.

  41. meow says:

    whew….tips help me a lot

  42. franko says:

    woo this is great i will not go to bathroom with soup on my pan again

  43. Mike Smith says:

    Waaao awesome ending….
    U really make me go hyper on it
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  44. donna says:

    07754921854

  45. Josiah says:

    Me and my girlfriend were in a long distance relationship and phone sex really relieved sexual tension and made us feel like we were together again. These tips are very helpful to people new to phone sex :)

  46. Capello says:

    Its really interesting and satisfactory.

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    show your love and respect to our military heroes.

  48. youngsherif says:

    i really love this

  49. joe says:

    phone sex tonight with my baby nicole wuuuu


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