Posts Tagged ‘dating’
Wednesday, July 27th, 2011
By Aly Walansky
This may be a sock in the gut to all of you who bought a trunk-full of chemises this past red sale: Today’s single women, 18-30 years old, shouldn’t shop for a sexy new outfit to attract a mate. They should consult with a health insurance broker – boring but true!
According to a national survey from eHealth Insurance and Kelton Research:
- 90 percent of college students and 93 percent of college graduates would be more attracted to a potential mate if they knew he/she had health insurance.
- Having health insurance may help move a relationship to a more intimate level: 30 percent of college students and 32 percent of college graduates would be less likely to have sex with someone who does not have health insurance.
The survey also showed that nearly all college students (97 percent) and college graduates (97 percent) consider health insurance important and are willing to give up some of their favorite activities so they can afford it such as:
- Eating out: Nearly 68 percent of college students and 67 percent of recent college graduates would give up a weekly night out at a restaurant in order to obtain coverage.
- Movie Night: Comparable amounts of college students (67 percent) and college graduates (64 percent) would be willing to give up a weekly night at the movies to afford coverage.
- Daily Coffee: Caffeine is a harder habit to break. Just over half of surveyed college students (51 percent) and college graduates (53 percent) feel it’s worth giving up their daily coffee in order to obtain health insurance coverage.
College graduates and students polled would also think twice before doing specific activities if they didn’t have insurance, which includes:
- Riding a Motorcycle: Nearly half of current college students (49 percent) and more than four in ten college graduates (43 percent) say that they would be less likely to ride a motorcycle without health insurance.
- Extreme Sports: More than four in ten (45 percent of college students and 47 percent of college graduates) would also be less likely to engage in dangerous athletic activities such as rock climbing or skiing if they had no health insurance.
The full survey results can be seen here.
So, how do you feel about these results? Do they reflect your own beliefs?
Sunday, July 10th, 2011
by: Yolanda Shoshana
Since I announced that I was opening up my interracial matchmaking services to the masses, I have had people eager to be set up and ready for love. While I would love to match everyone with the love of their life, I have to remind everyone that working with a matchmaker is a process.
Since matchmaking is not about magically producing a hot sexy partner in an instant (if only), there are a few things to keep in mind when working with a matchmaker.
1) Talk to a more than one matchmaker- Do yourself a favor and meet with a few matchmakers so that you know who will be the best one to work with. There are a lot of matchmakers out there so meet with as many as you need to until you feel comfortable. If your friends who have gone to a matchmaker ask them how the experience was, was the matchmaker available, etc.
2) Do not expect to be married in a month- When you sign up with a matchmaker, they may not have the perfect person waiting for you in the wings. Allow them time to conjure up people to set you up with. After all, the reason you are working with a matchmaker is to sort out the wrong people and bring you the right ones. I know I am always out shopping for people for my clients. A good matchmaker matches carefully and selectively. You can’t hurry love so exercise patience.
3) Expect to be interviewed- A matchmaker will interview you to get to know you better and to find out more about the person you are seeking. This is when you will find out how your matchmaker will arrange dates, how to follow up, and other important details that are needed for you to work together.
4) Be Open- Once you have selected your matchmaker and s/he wants to send you out with someone that may not be your normal type, take a chance, and go on the date, because it could be the one. There are plenty of people who end up with someone that they never imagined they would be with. Love has a way of striking when we least expect it.
5) Do Your Own Research- Even though your matchmaker will probably be doing a background check, feel free to do your own research on the people that you are set up. Google them, Bing them, look for them on Facebook, basically now there are a lot of ways to check out someone. Know that they will probably do a little research on you.
Yolanda Shoshana “Shoshi” is a lifestyle provocateur: sex goddess, courtesan coach™, spiritual guru, perfume creatrix, matchmaker, wedding officiant, and new thought speaker. She has a lifestyle show on Mingle Media TV called, Courtesan Candy. Follow her on Twitter @Shoshi
Wednesday, July 6th, 2011
By Aly Walansky
All eyes were on the photo circus as ringmaster Anthony Weiner released some rather cocky material during an avoidable sexting mistake…..
Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz’s Flirtexting: How to Text Your Way to His Heart could have saved him and probably hundreds of other politicians and celebrities before they got caught with their pants down. The book provides insight into the avoidable mishaps of sexting as they guide their readers into the next generation of love. Flirtexting—flirting via text, teaches readers how to create the BPT (best possible text), save themselves from sending the right text to the wrong person, master the steps to manipulate a text, know just when to reply, and much more.
Here’s some of my favorite tidbits:
§ Sexts should be used by mature adults in a committed relationship to avoid risky backlash
§ Stay classy by sending simple sexts telling him what you want to do when you see him later, or what you plan on wearing
§ Use the casual and safe environment of text to forgo shyness by sexting to reveal your fantasies
§ Spark fire in a long distance relationship with an exciting bedtime sext
§ Send a flirtext to spice up an existing relationship during work
§ Less is more, send sexy photos of new lingerie or a picture of your legs to get him aroused
§ Never include your face in a naked photo text
§ Avoid your kids seeing these photos by deleting them immediately from your phone after sending them
§ Don’t reveal everything in a text message exchange, leave him wanting more
§ Stay away from racy photos unless you’re in a serious relationship to avoid unwanted leaks and criticism
You Should Know:
§ Guys have said that they will often test girls by sending them a sext to see how they will respond.
§ Nothing is going to happen if you refuse to take it all off for a sext, except for maybe gaining more respect from the person asking you for it
- Sexts don’t have to be photo texts
§ Unlike phone sex, you don’t need to be anywhere private to send a sexy text
Thursday, June 23rd, 2011
By Aly Walansky
With 113 million people using online dating sites annually and 74% of singles looking for love online; online dating sites are becoming more and more prevalent as outlets for finding romantic connections.
While the Internet has expanded the dating pool, the results are all too often disappointing as daters end up looking nothing like their online persona would suggest.
Below are some tips on how to steer clear of online dating disasters and increase your chances of finding the perfect match faster.
- Honesty is the best policy: Resist the temptation to stretch the truth in your online description. If you tell the truth (which might be less than perfect) you’ll refrain from putting a damper on the date before it even begins.
- Set up an online date: Take advantage of video conferencing to arrange a virtual pre-date. If things start to go badly, it’s as easy as ending the video connection.
- Go with your gut: If at anytime something strikes you as off with the person you’re talking to, don’t be afraid to cut the connection. It’s not worth meeting someone who strikes you as being a bit “off”.
- Don’t be afraid to ask the hard-hitting questions: Ask any questions that are important to you in a significant other. Don’t be shy of asking about their smoking habits/political or religious beliefs; it saves you the disappointment if their views don’t jive with yours done the line.
- Err on the side of caution: Before meeting your “knight in digital armor,” refrain from giving out your personal email address or telephone number. Instead, sign up for an alternate phone number that you can just cancel if you need to cut contact. Consider a disposable two-way calling service which allows for texting and calling.
Monday, May 16th, 2011
by: Yolanda Shoshana
Dating can be a hit or a big miss. Dating is a bit of a game which you can have fun with if you let yourself not take it too seriously. As you look for someone to settle down with there are a few things to keep in mind that can make dating a little more fun for you.
1) Stay focused. Remember what you are looking for when you are dating. Are you in the mood to play the field or is your goal to find a life partner. When you remember your dating goal you are able to stay accept dates that are perfect for what you desire.
2) Have fun. Sometimes dating is frustrating especially when the date is just bad. To get to the love of your life, remember that you will bump into a few fools along the way. Go on a date with no expectations that it is “the one”; go for a nice time out. That way if it doesn’t turn out the way that you want you will not be disappointed. Instead you will have a fun story to tell your girlfriends.
3) Dress sexy, but keep your elegance. There is dressing sexy and then there is dressing in a way that implies that you are easy. Wear something that shows your curves that leaves something to the imagination. That is actually sexier than showing off your whole body. Plus, if you will continue dating you will be able to whip out your sexy outfits for special occasions.
4) Stay calm waiting for the call. If you go on a date that you think is great do not drive yourself crazy wondering when he is going to call you. Do not wait by the phone or spend every minute wondering when your phone will ring, instead keep dating and going on about your business. Since you can not hurry love, learn to go with the flow.
Yolanda Shoshana “Shoshi” is a lifestyle provocateur: sex goddess, courtesan coach™, perfume creatrix, love maker, wedding officiant, and new thought speaker. She has a new lifestyle show on Mingle Media TV called,Courtesan Candy. Follow her on Twitter @Shoshi
Wednesday, May 11th, 2011
By Aly Walansky
Though “variety is the spice of life” and “opposites attract,” most people marry only those whose political views align with their own, according to new research from Rice University and the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Political scientists found that political attitudes were among the strongest shared traits and even stronger than qualities like personality or looks.
In an article published in the April issue of the Journal of Politics, researchers examined physical and behavioral traits of more than 5,000 married couples in the United States. They found spouses in the study appeared to instinctively select a partner who has similar social and political views.
“It turns out that people place more emphasis on finding a mate who is a kindred spirit with regard to politics, religion and social activity than they do on finding someone of like physique or personality,” said John Alford, associate professor of political science at Rice University and the study’s lead author.
On a scale of 0 to 1, where 1 means perfectly matched, physical traits (body shape, weight and height) only score between 0.1 and 0.2 among spouse pairs. Personality traits, such as extroversion or impulsivity, are also weak and fall within the 0 to 0.2 range. By comparison, the score for political ideology is more than 0.6, higher than any of the other measured traits except frequency of church attendance, which was just over 0.7.
The study adds to recent “sorting research” that has uncovered a surprising level of uniformity in Americans’ personal political communication networks — where they live, with whom they socialize and where they work.
The new research shows that this sorting doesn’t stop with the selection of neighborhoods or workplaces, however. It’s also visible in choice of spouses, Alford said.
“It suggests that, perhaps, if you’re looking for a long-term romantic relationship, skip ‘What’s your sign?’ and go straight to ‘Obama or Palin?’” Alford said. “And if you get the wrong answer, just walk away.”
Alford and his co-authors noted that sorting is not the only reason for spouses’ political uniformity, but it is clearly the most powerful. More traditional explanations for the political similarity of spouses turned out to have only modest effects and account for only about 10 percent of the similarity between long-term partners. Social homogamy — or the tendency for people to choose a mate from within one’s own religious, social, economic and educational surroundings — played only a small role.
Similarly, the researchers found little support for interspousal persuasion, the notion that partners tend to adapt to one another’s political beliefs over time – a discovery that could have implications on partisan politics for generations to come, the researchers said.
“We did expect to find a strong political bond between husbands and wives,” said John Hibbing, a professor of political science at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and a co-author of the study. “But we were surprised that political concordance seems to exist from the very early years in the marriage, instead of the folk wisdom of mates growing more alike politically as their relationship goes along.”
The authors said this sorting can have a big impact on the future of American politics: If parents transmit political traits to their children, then the practice of liberals marrying liberals and conservatives marrying conservatives seems likely to increase political uniformity into the next generation.
“Obviously, parents are very influential in shaping the political beliefs of their children,” Hibbing said. “If both parents are on the left or on the right, it makes it more difficult for a child to be something different. It may be part of the reason why we see such polarization.”
This means that marriage — a major means by which diversity enters into extended families –doesn’t actually contribute much to the political “melting pot,” Alford said.
“Instead, marriage works largely to reinforce the ongoing ideological polarization that we see so clearly today,” he said.
The study, “The Politics of Mate Choice,” was authored by Alford, Hibbing, Peter K. Hatemi of the University of Iowa, Nicholas Martin of the Queensland Institute of Medical Research and Lindon Eaves of the Virginia Institute for Psychiatric and Behavioral Genetics.
Tuesday, May 10th, 2011
by: Yolanda Shoshana
Something must be in the air, because in the past few weeks most of my female clients have had a panic attack in front of me, because they are still single. It is starting to feel like a national epidemic. They don’t know how it has happened that forty is closing in and they have no one in sight to marry or have children with. Society continues to make being single one of the worst things to be for women, while single men are cool and eligible at any age.
In reality the grass is always greener on the other side, there are pros and cons to being single and married. It all depends upon your perspective. Plus if marriage it suppose to be the ultimate threshold, would there be a 50% divorce rate in America?
No matter what age you are, waiting until you find your Mr. Right and making the choice not to settle is the only way to go. A marriage does not guarantee happiness. There are people who are married that are lonely and would love to be single again. While it may be taking you a little longer to find the love of your life, once true love shows up it will be worth it.
Remember that the person that you seek is seeking you. Love is like a bumpy rollercoaster ride. After the ride is over you will appreciate it even more. Love always arrives on time, not a minute earlyor a minute late.
Let go of the fear that you will not end up alone. Do not believe it is hard to date; it is about your perception. Great dates happen all the time, know that it will happen for you. Have faith that at any minute love will arrive. When the right person comes along it will be like they were always in your life, because lovers don’t finally meet somewhere; they’re in each other all along.
Yolanda Shoshana “Shoshi” is a lifestyle provocateur: sex goddess, courtesan coach™, perfume creatrix, love maker, wedding officiant, and new thought speaker. She has a new lifestyle show on Mingle Media TV called, Courtesan Candy. Follow her on Twitter @Shoshi
Wednesday, April 6th, 2011
By Aly Walansky
Congrats! You and your mate are taking a BIG next step. But be sure you are ready…
1. Before moving anything, create a simple ‘space planner’ using graphing paper.
2. Cut out everyone’s furniture pieces, to scale if possible, to determine which item fits best in the new space. It is likely that one person will have to give up their duplicate item (microwave, couch, dresser, etc). This is a great opportunity to donate these items to your favorite charity. Don’t forget to get your tax deductible receipt.
3. When moving from two separate locations, schedule the movers to pick up at one location in the morning; go straight to the second location; and then finally to the new home with both loads of belongings. Prior to moving day, make sure to measure doorways and staircases to assure that large items will fit.
Have you taken the plunge with your partner? How did it go? Do you have any advice we can all learn from?
Wednesday, April 6th, 2011
By Aly Walansky
We hope you don’t need all 15 signs — that you’ll value yourself enough to hold back and let him show you he’s interested.
But in case you are waiting for some signs, here’s some doozies:
*He never wants to make a definite date (would you like to go out Friday night?)
*He just wants to come over to your house on the spur of the moment
*He doesn’t make an effort to keep in touch
* You are making all the effort to get together
* He doesn’t seem to think about the future
* He’s not done with his ex: you’re a “rebound” relationship
* He fell in love with you while he was still with his ex. (It doesn’t matter if he says the relationship is bad — he has a cheating mentality) If he would cheat on his partner, then why not on you when you are his partner?
* He refuses to talk about past relationships — he’s probably hiding something
* He talks about one past relationship incessantly — it means he’s obsessed.
* He keeps another woman close, and says they’re “just friends”
* He doesn’t want you to meet his friends
* He doesn’t introduce you to family, or invite you to family holidays, weddings, etc.
* He disappears without a reason
* He always has to work (it may be just an excuse for dating others, or it may mean he’s more into work than you)
* He doesn’t ask about your life, your feelings, your friends or family.
What do you think? What sad signs of disinterest have you noticed in your own life?